Tantra + Psychology + Consent

ACT III

Consent

Consent is when someone agrees to an activity or action, freely and willingly

Definition: Consent is an agreement between two or more people that involves mutual understanding, capacity, and willingness

Key elements:

1. Voluntary: The person must agree without coercion, force, or pressure

2. Informed: The person has a clear understanding of what's happening

3. Capacity: The person is capable of making decisions (e.g., not under the influence, not a minor)

4. Specific: Consent applies to a specific activity or action

5. Reversible: Anyone can change their mind and withdraw consent at any time

Examples:

• A person agrees to go on a date with someone

• A person agrees to engage in a intimate sexual activity with someone

• A person agrees to share personal details with someone

Important points:

• Silence or lack of resistance doesn't imply consent

• Consent must be actively given, not assumed

• Anyone can withdraw consent at any time, and the decision must be respected

Non consent can look like this

Serve without agreement
- Do-gooder
Accept without agreement
- Freeloader
Allow without agreement
- Victim
Take without agreement
- Groping

Consent is your spiritual energy; when you don't consent, it manifests as sexual or emotional trauma in your life. That is, your spiritual energy is stolen by the person you don't consent to.

This, in turn, imbalances your chakras. For example, when you keep putting yourself in a non-consensual situation, your throat chakra (fifth chakra) becomes silenced because you won't say no. This in turn causes you to either compensate by an addiction like an eating disorder if its willpower related (third chakra), or if it's love related, something like smoking (fourth chakra), while giving rise to a third eye chakra (sixth chakra) imbalance, causing you to live in illusion and overthinking, ultimately leading toward disassociation.

What does consent feel like on the bedroom?

" Not knowing her body and the “how” of expanding into her feminine energy automatically places a restriction and limitation on a woman’s experience of sex, and therefore of love. And if this reality is true for woman, it is equally true for man.

If woman is living and loving at a sexual minimum, her male partner also exists at this same level. For women this sexual minimum is reflected in their tremendous difficulties at achieving orgasm. So often women share with me their fear that something is seriously wrong with them because they cannot manage to experience any kind of orgasm. Or they’re worried because they need an hour or more to feel a full yes to penetration. Or they report that sex has gradually lost its attraction, though the longing for tenderness and intimacy remains. With these negative thoughts passing through the mind, old and unexpressed feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy can ripple to the surface; soon insecurity begins to erode the joy of a loving heart. For a woman, unhappiness and dissatisfaction with sex can easily become the acceptable, expectable norm.

The truth is that your body is fully capable of experiencing deep, rich, satisfying orgasm. The key is to step inward and observe the physical sensations of your own body without judgment. How do you feel when you are having sex with your partner? How do you feel when you are having sex by yourself? Gather information about your body’s responses. What do you enjoy? What irritates you? What leaves you feeling profoundly disappointed?

Remember that, as long as you look at them honestly, feelings are always true. No feeling is ever “wrong.” When your partner, consumed by excitement, begins to move ever harder and faster toward his own climax (the so-called jackhammer mode), do you feel invisible, left behind, engulfed by a wave of disappointment that once again he will be all finished before you even begin to get warmed up?

Or perhaps your partner dutifully feels that he should satisfy you before he allows himself to be satisfied, so he works hard to bring you to orgasm by stimulating your clitoris.

He’s doing the “right” thing, so you don’t want to be critical. But is he rubbing too hard? too fast? Do you need more lubrication? Do you feel pressured to get on with it, to hurry up and climax so that he can move on to the “real” part of sex—that is, penetration and ejaculation? Do you worry that he’s getting bored while he’s stimulating you? Do you find yourself getting bored?

Do you leave your body altogether and make a grocery list in your head or remember that your second child needs to take a picnic lunch for his field trip tomorrow? Or do you need to leave your physical body in another way and engage in a steamy sexual fantasy in order to come to climax?

Do you actually feel disinterested but work hard at that fantasy, nevertheless, because your partner will be disappointed or feel diminished if he can’t bring you to orgasm?

Do you sometimes fake orgasm just to get the whole thing over with? "

- Richardson, Diana (2004). Tantric orgasm for women

IDENTIFY & ASSESS

ACTIVE AWARENESS

GIVING OR NOT GIVING CONSENT

RESPECTING DECISION

FRIES: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific